SELF-HONESTY The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves… . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17
When I was drinking, I deceived myself about reality, rewriting it to what I wanted it to be. Deceiving others is a character defect-even if it is just stretching the truth a bit or cleaning up my motives so others would think well of me. My Higher Power can remove this character defect, but first I have to help myself become willing to receive that help by not practicing deception. I need to remember each day that deceiving myself about myself is setting myself up for failure or disappointment in life and in Alcoholics Anonymous. A close, honest relationship with a Higher Power is the only solid foundation I’ve found for honesty with self and with others.
Are you always putting other people’s well-being ahead of your own? Stop this madness- now! Make happiness your main priority. Put yourself first. LOVE yourself. There is no joy in bending over backwards to please other people out of guilt, expectation, or fear. When you love yourself enough, caring for others will come with ease. Giving love will be the most natural thing, and the love you give will be stronger, more powerful, more real. When you love yourself fully and allow life to manifest from this space, you overflow with love and light. This vibration will be picked up by the people around you, and suddenly love is everywhere. With love you will share without trying. Help without effort. Give without expecting anything in return. What’s to expect? Everything you need is already inside you, because you love yourself. There is nothing more Important than self-love. Affirm: I LOVE MYSELF. I deserve a good life. I deserve to be happy. Through the practice of self-love I manifest a life of abundance and health. I am perfect, just the way I am.
People that have not yet connected to this space of love may sometimes get offended by your sense of freedom and try to challenge you. It’s their ego clinging to identification with thoughts and conditioning of the past. And it’s ok. Give them extra love. Don’t take anything personally. What other people think of you is their business, not yours.
THE “NUMBER ONE OFFENDER” Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 64
As I look at myself practicing the Fourth Step, it is easy to gloss over the wrong that I have done, because I can easily see it as a question of “getting even” for a wrong done to me. If I continue to relive my old hurt, it is a resentment and resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. If I continue to relive hurts and hates, I will hurt and hate myself. After years in the dark of resentments, I have found the sunlight. I must let go of resentments; I cannot afford them.
GIVING UP INSANITY … where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 38
Alcoholism required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life and life became unmanageable.
I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.